Grocery Shopping at Konoha
by Getemono
Summary: It's sorta funny. has some oocness, so beware. Rated T for some language. One shot.


Grocery Shopping at Konoha

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"And there you go, knock yourselves out." Kakashi said, handing numerous bills to Sakura.

"Why are you giving us five hundred bucks to go grocery shopping?" Sakura questioned.

"Yeah, usually you save your money for 'make-out paradise'" Naruto said. "We have food at home, you know."

"I just thought that maybe you could buy a nice picnic or something to pack for after training tomorrow or something." Kakashi said, too good-naturedly.

"But five hundred dollars?" Sakura asked.

"I've seen Naruto eat." Kakashi said.

"Works for me!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically.

Sasuke looked at his sensei suspiciously. _He's up to something..._ he thought.

Noticing the suspicious looks he was getting from the young Uchiha, Kakashi rushed them out.

"Take as long as you need. See you later, bye!" Kakashi said. Giving him strange looks, the trio finally left their sensei's midst.

"It's about time." A voice from behind Kakashi complained.

He turned around, and there stood Gai, leaning against his doorframe with Kurenai and Asuma.

"This had better be worth my five hundred bucks, Kakashi." Asuma said.

"Oh, don't worry, it is." Kakashi replied, turning on the T.V. The screen lit up, and revealed a building with "Konoha Grocery" written in faded letters across the top.

"They should be arriving any minute now." Kakashi said, smirking behind his mask.

"Ooh, I know, let's buy ramen!" Naruto yelled.

"No!" Sakura snapped. "Let's just buy some junk food. Anything you want, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't reply. But he knew exactly what he was going to do when they reached a certain spot in the grocery. He hadn't done it in a long time, and when he did, people ran. But, he didn't care, he wanted it, and he wanted it bad.

They entered the cool air conditioned store and got a cart. Naruto pushed it down the candy aisle while Sakura and Sasuke followed close behind. Little did they know, in the next aisle over was three siblings. Two were much humored and one was ready to kill someone.

"This is so fucking hilarious. I can't believe you actually lost this bet Gaara." Kankurou sniggered.

Gaara glared from his position in the child's safety seat in the cart. His gourd was shoved unceremoniously under the cart, which was good in Kankurou's case, because Gaara would have killed him with it.

"Well, you did lose fair and square, Gaara." Temari said, stifling a laugh.

Flashback

The three sand ninja sat on the couch, not doing anything in particular, just watching Rachael Ray's Thirty minute meals. Except for Kankurou, who for some reason was not shutting the hell up.

"You know, I tried to make that once, but it came out all gooey." Kankurou commented, pointing to the chicken on the screen. "Hey, you guys wanna do something?"

"How about you shut up?" Gaara said, flipping through channels.

"I will if we have a contest!" Kankurou said.

Gaara sighed. He knew that was the only way to shut him up. Any other attempts failed. Once he locked him in the basement over night. He just kept yelling. Another time he beat the shit out of him. He would not stop complaining. Hell, he kicked him down twenty flights of stairs, and still, he would not shut up. Gaara got up and glared.

"Well, what's the stakes?"

"If you win, I shut up for a whole week." Kankurou said. Gaara smirked. Now that was worth fighting for. "But, if I win, you have to sit in the child seat of a cart."

"Deal." Gaara said. He wasn't going to lose to that loser. "What's the game?"

"Temari, spin it!" Kankurou demanded.

"Spin it yourself, fat ass!" Temari demanded.

"You spin it!"

"You spin it!"

"You spin it!"

"Somebody spin it already!" Gaara yelled.

"Okay, I'll spin it." Temari said.

"Now I wanna spin it." Kankurou grumbled.

"Too bad." Temari smirked. She went up and spun a huge wheel labeled _wheel of competitions_. It landed on 'spitting.'

"You know what that means!" Temari said enthusiastically.

They wandered outside and scanned the area.

"Okay, you guys have to spit on that horribly misshapen rock." Temari said, pointing to an ugly rock in the distance.

"Me first!" Kankurou said. He gathered a huge wad of spit in his mouth, then released it. It went flying in the air and hit the rock smack dab in the middle.

"Yes!" Kankurou said triumphantly. Little did he know, that wasn't a rock. It was little Konahamaru, practicing his disguise with a blanket.

"Ew!" He yelped in realization, shifting the blanket away from his face. He peeked out, and saw the sand siblings. He didn't want them to know he was there, so he decided to try and look natural while escaping.

"Hey, that rock's rolling away!" Kankurou yelled as the deformed rock made its way down the hill. Not wanting to lose, Gaara quickly aimed spit at the rock, but to no avail. The ugly rock was gone. Gaara could not believe his rotten luck.

End Flashback

Gaara glared coldly at his siblings, whose eyes were brimming with laughter. Normally, they would have stopped out of fear, but he didn't look half as intimidating in the cart. He didn't think it could get any worse until he heard a voice that sounded like a thousand animals dying.

"OH MY GAWD IS THAT GAARA!"

The sand trio turned to see Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke down the next aisle. They were all staring wide eyed at Gaara, not moving. Then, Naruto being Naruto started laughing his head off.

"Oh my gawd, what the hell Gaara? Reliving your childhood?" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto, shut up." Sakura scolded. She wasn't going to get killed because of Naruto.

"No, no this is too good; I'm buying a disposable camera!" Naruto said, rolling on the floor by now.

Kankurou may not have liked his little brother, but he figured maybe if he stuck up for him, Gaara might be nicer to him, and meaner to Temari. With that in mind, Kankurou opened his fat mouth.

"Hey, he's riding in the cart because he's cool. Unlike you, having to walk around on your feet."

Now Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were laughing. Gaara's scowl deepened and Kankurou immediately regretted opening his fat mouth.

"You know, tubby does have a point." Naruto said. With that, he jumped into the back of the cart. "Push me, Sasuke-bastard!"

"Okay." Sasuke said, and everyone stopped dead. _Sasuke Uchiha_ was going to push _Naruto Uzamaki_ in a grocery cart?

Sasuke stepped up to the cart and gave Naruto a big push. Naruto screamed as he went flying through the display of cans.

"YOU DUMB BOOB!" Naruto yelled.

"Hey, Gaara, doesn't that look fun?" Kankurou said.

"You'd better not." Temari said.

But it was too late; the chubby moron had pushed Gaara straight into a display of toilet paper. Gaara tried to jump out, but noticed that Kankurou had strapped him down.

"That fat bastard." He muttered.

"Hey, is that Gaara?"

Gaara cringed. How many dumb shit Konoha ninja had come here, anyway? He looked up to see Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji in the chips aisle.

"Ah, Gaara is finally embracing youth. What a wonderful thing to witness."

Gaara started twitching. He hated that voice. That stupid, stupid, youth praising moron. Sure enough, when he craned his neck, he saw Lee standing over him, along with Neji and Tenten.

"Did you guys hear Lee?" Said a voice from the next aisle. Kiba, Hinata, and Shino came to investigate.

"Gaara, are you okay?" Temari finally showed up. "Here, you don't have to sit in the cart anymore. We'll make Kankurou sit in it instead. Anything you want?"

"Yes. I want to kill Kankurou." Gaara said, wiggling out of the cart.

'Yes.' Temari thought. 'My plan worked. Now Gaara won't be so mean to me, and he'll be much meaner to Kankurou.'

"Ow..." Naruto said, staggering out of the pile of cans. He noticed the group of Konoha nins, and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

"Grocery shopping, duh." Ino said

"Whatever. Come on, I wanna buy some ramen."

"I said no, Naruto!" Sakura said, stomping behind him.

"Hey, Gaara, wanna make some trouble?" Temari asked.

"Sure, when we go back home we have to endure Kankurou not shutting up."

"Come on, man, I can't fit in this cart." Kankurou protested as Gaara pushed him in. "I'm too big."

The sand siblings just stuck their hands out when they neared the shelves, knocking over everything they hit. Yep, they're bad, alright.

Hinata looked down at the list Kiba had given her. They had all agreed that by splitting up, they could cover more area and have more time to enjoy the goodies. The list read:

Gummy worms

Potato chips

Oreo cookies

Marshmallows

Chocolate

Graham Crackers

Ritz Crackers

She picked up a basket and proceeded down an aisle. After getting most of the items, she noticed the last thing she needed; gummy worms.

'I must be lucky.' She thought. 'There's only one last bag.'

As her hand extended for the bag, another one snatched it. She looked into the pupil-less eyes of Neji.

Neji just grabbed the bag and walked away. Hinata sighed.

"Come on, Hinata, stand up to that jerk!"

Hinata turned around and saw Naruto.

"W-what?" She stuttered.

"That was your bag of gummy worms! You got that for your team!"

"I-it was only a b-bag of gummy worms." Hinata said.

"Come on, you're a ninja! If this was a mission you would have failed. Come on, kick his ass!"

Naruto was right. She had to get those gummy worms back. But why was this scene reminding her of the Chunin exams? Oh well, she was going to get those worms back.

"N-Neji, those were m-mine. I-I h-had them first, s-so give th-them back." Hinata said.

"Never." Neji said. "Unless you're going to fight me for them."

"Neji, we said gummy bears!" Tenten said.

"No, it's personal now."

"Just give her the gummy worms." Lee said.

Hinata and Neji took an aisle to themselves and started activating the Byakugan.

"Go Hinata, kick his ass!" Sakura cheered.

"Ten bucks on Neji." Chouji said.

"Quiet, fatso." Ino said.

Shikamaru and Kiba ended up restraining the 'pleasantly plump' boy as the fight between the Hyuugas took place.

Five minutes later...

Hinata was losing rather badly, until she remembered one advantage she had over Neji. She felt sheepish doing it, but realized it was her only chance to win, and wasn't that what ninja were supposed to do? Do anything to win?

Gulping, Hinata gathered all her courage and kicked Neji in the spot where the sun don't shine.

"You bitch!" Neji yelled from the floor.

Hinata grabbed the bag of worms and bolted to her teammates before he could get up. Everyone was silent. How had that happened?

"Well, you did have it coming." Tenten said.

"Would sitting in the cart make you feel any better?" Lee asked.

"No!" He yelled.

"Naruto get down from there!" Sakura yelled.

"No way, I'm getting that shrimp ramen!" Naruto said.

But while Naruto was climbing, Sakura had pulled him down, and with him the entire aisle.

"Hey you little brats!" a store manager yelled.

"Cheese it!" Sakura yelled.

"No, Sakura, we're not getting Cheez it today."

"No, you moron, run!"

"Ha-ha, forehead!" Ino laughed.

"Hey, you need to pay for those!" a clerk yelled at Chouji.

"Chouji, I told you to wait until we got to the check out!" Ino yelled.

"I got hungry." Chouji whined.

"You two Hyuugas! You're going to pay for that mess you made!"

Hinata and Neji sweat dropped and ran with their team.

"And you three, stop right there!" Another clerk said.

Soon, all of the young ninja were running away from angry store employees.

"Where's Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"Look, over there!" Kiba yelled.

Sasuke had his head positioned under the slushee machine, and turned it on, letting the bright colored cold drink flow into his mouth.

"Sasuke, what the hell? Run!" Naruto yelled.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Sasuke yelled pupils tiny and eyes wide.

"Sasuke, you're scaring me." Sakura said.

"I'm going to eat you all!" Sasuke yelled.

"He's gone mental, run!" Kankurou said.

"Boy, get down."

"No, you get down!"

"Alright, everyone, stop! Just stop!"

Everyone turned towards the door and saw Tsunade standing there, looking very angry.

"Now what the hell is going on?" The blonde asked.

"Well, we came to grocery shop because Asuma sensei gave us five hundred dollars." Ino said.

"Hey, Kakashi gave us five hundred bucks too." Sakura said.

"Same with Kurenai." Kiba said.

Upon closer inspection, Tsunade saw tiny cameras in the store.

"You're off the hook. As for your senseis..."

Twenty minutes later...

"Way to go, Kakashi." Asuma said, picking up a box of cereal.

"Yeah, this was so not worth my five hundred." Kurenai complained.

"Shut up." Kakashi said, arranging magazines.

"Cheer up, it's not all bad." Gai said, putting stuffed turtles back on a shelf.

"Quiet! You guys aren't leaving until this place is clean and you start behaving like jounin!" Tsunade yelled.

"Yes Hokage." They said.

**A/N: well, there you go. my first stupid attempt at a Naruto humor. Hopefully my next one well be better. Tell me what you like, or didn't like, or how I could improve!**


End file.
